The Heart Of A Woman Who Loves Unconditionally

What is Love?

L oLove can be described as deep affection, fondness, tenderness, warmth, intimacy, attachment, endearment, devotion, adoration and the list could go on.

Sometimes people will show love to others while expecting something in return. That is not genuine love, it ceases to be love when one expects something else in return or when one is expected to earn it. It becomes a trade. Perfect love is unconditional, it is when we show an act of love or think lovingly about other people without expecting anything in return. The following are some attributes that describe what love is.

Deeper Love for, understanding of and great faith in God:  God is love and anyone who fears God will want to love other people unconditionally because they are connected to the source,  love.   Anyone who loves God and understands His ways, will love others unconditionally because her/his provision is from God not from man.  Loving someone is not loving their bad deeds, but loving the person and discouraging them from doing evil. 

Scripture reference:  Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised”.  

John 15: 5-6 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.

Thus, without God we are not capable of loving the way we ought to love.      

Have a sense of Security:  A woman who loves unconditionally is secure.  She does not try to buy love.  When she does good turns for people, it is not because she expects to receive love in return.   Her heart is full of security and that is because her trust is in the Lord.

Psalm 20:7 “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God”.

Love is patient:  The one who sincerely loves is patient.  While there are people who are very selective in their patience, there are those motivated by love who can be so forbearing.   The bible encourages us to be forbearing.    You see none of us is perfect and a woman who truly loves knows that and gives allowance for others to make mistakes.  Is it that she celebrates mistakes?  Absolutely not, but she loves others in spite of their mistakes.   

Ephesians 4: 2-3   “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”  

Growing up I experienced much patience from my mother.  Her patience was not just for us her children and dad her husband, she had the capacity to tolerate neighbors, extended family members and even others in her place of worship.  Being patient does not mean condoning what is bad or evil, no,  it just means that we see other people’s mistakes, we may even be able to acknowledge them, but we do not judge the people.   If need be, we correct them in love. Mama was secure enough to show that kind of love and never get insecure.    

The heart of a kind woman:   Kindness is being friendly, generous, and considerate.    It is such a blessing to be in the company of kind people because the environment is good.   When you love other people you find it easy to be kind to them.  You feel bad when things go wrong for them. True kindness is not selective.  I cannot choose to only be kind to some people and not others.    I should be kind regardless of where other people come from, which tribe they are, how much education they have, and/or which social class they belong to.  That indeed is how the heart of a kind woman should be.   

It does not envy:  The heart of a woman who sincerely loves does not envy.  On the contrary, a woman who sincerely loves rejoices when others are happy, she find time to celebrate the good in other people’s lives.  Humanly speaking, it is easy to feel bad when others have everything going right for them, especially our enemies.  However, God is willing to help us rejoice with other people when they give their testimonies. 

It Does Not Boast neither is it proud:  A loving heart knows how to present their good stories, they do not boast about what God is doing in their lives, but present it with care knowing that there are people around who may not have what they have.   The blessings God gives to us should not add sorrow to others, the good things that happen in our lives are God’s doing.  Thus one with a godly heart gives credit to God for the good happenings in their lives.  Naturally, a woman who has the love of God clearly understands that God is the one who provides all we have.   It is therefore imperative that such a woman is full of gratitude to God and not proud or arrogant.  Pride comes from lack of knowledge on who the giver is and the bible says that those who have no knowledge will perish.   

It does not dishonor others:   I have been in the company of people who find it easy to demean other people.   You cannot love and still enjoy seeing others dishonored or worse still being the one who makes them feel small.   When people egos are trampled on, they feel crashed and embarrassed.   A loving person does not crash others, she builds others.    

It Is Not Easily Angered:  When we have the love of Christ, we will often stop to ask why people behave the way they do.  A loving heart is empathetic.   Empathy slows down our anger and enables us to seek to understand other people more.  Being slow to anger is a noble godly gift that we can give to our friends.

It Keeps No Record Of Wrongs:  When we make mistakes, we want them to be forgotten.  In the same when we love other people, our greatest desire should be to forget the wrongs they do to us.  A heart that loves wants others to have what they like and so keeps no record of wrong doings.   

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth:    It is impossible to love others and then slander and gossip about them at the same time.  Gossip and slander can be very juicy, we who are pursuing love, should desist from engaging in talk that is hurtful to other people.   

James 4: 11-12:   11 Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister[d] or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. 12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?

It Always Protects:  When we love people, we protect them.  Protection however is not condoning bad  things, neither is it enabling our loved once to do evil.   For example when our significant others are caught up in habitual sin, we cannot not cover it up, but look for ways to help them get out of it.  In the case of alcoholism, for example, we can encourage our loved once to seek help and treatment.    Protecting our loved once is looking out for their good.  

Always Trusts:   Firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.  One we love, we believe the best about other people.  We hope that even the weaknesses they may have can change into strengths because we surrender them to God.

Always Hopes: A feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen.  When we love, we keep hoping for better things to happen not just in our lives, but the lives of those around us.  They may be our friends or not.   

Always Perseveres:  

James 1: 2-8:  Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.   If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.   But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.    That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.   Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

Love Never Fails:   1 Corinthians 13: 8-13:  Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.  When I was a child, I talked like a child; I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.